Big News.

This is copied from my other blog.

I realize that I have been slightly vague about some things lately. There's been "big news" brewing here in the Grummons' household and it has caused some people to wonder what's been going on.

No, we are not pregnant.

No, we are not moving.

No, Sam is not home, yet (although, soon!).

After my super long vacation/excursion to the Midwest, I set out on the journey of becoming employed. I wasn't sure exactly what that would entail because it was still up in the air as to how long we would be in California still and what our lives would look like when Sam finally got home from his deployment.

Knowing how terrible the job market was/is I knew that I should start looking for a job as soon as possible because I know people who graduated from Talbot before I did who are still not employed. So, I worked out my resume and started looking online for job postings in our area.

Wow. It was slim pickings. It wasn't surprising because most churches are letting their Junior High people go right now as opposed to hiring someone on just for Junior High. But, I saw one job in Westminster that had been posted in July. I wasn't even sure if they were still looking for someone to fill the position, but I decided to send in my resume anyways.

After a series of phone interviews, face-to-face interviews and lots of meetings tonight I was officially offered the position of part-time Junior High Pastor at Bethany Bible Fellowship!

This is an amazing opportunity for me and I feel like God provided this job just for me. The job description was everything I had ever done at Cypress Church and it seemed like a perfect fit from the beginning. There is even the opportunity to substitute teach at the private school attached to the church to help supplement the pay. Plus, Nathaniel can go to preschool there for free and Aaron can get free child care there when he turns 2.

I had mixed emotions about accepting this job. For one, I wasn't even allowing myself to believe that I got the job until the Deacons voted for me and it was official. It was the only job I applied for and I honestly thought that it would take longer for me to find a job. Apparently, I don't have any lessons to learn there! Second, I love Cypress Church. It has been my church home for more than five years. My children were born into their children's program, I have watched my students grow into young men and women and I have made some very good friends. It's going to be very hard for me to leave a lot of that behind.

But, I know that God is calling me to this new church. I would be a fool if I turned down this amazing offer. Plus, we aren't moving so I can still stay in contact with my amazing friends and Nathaniel will stay in the Cubbies program at Cypress so that he doesn't have to go through too many changes at once.

So, that's it. I have a job!! And, they are graciously letting me start in December after Sam has come home. Hooray!! Thanks to all who have been praying for me and my job search.

RARRR!! I'm so frustrated.

My mother in law is frustrating the crap out of me.  She knows how to take my amazing week and turn it sour with one simple phone call.  I really need to learn how to use caller i.d. to my advantage and simply stop taking her phone calls.

This summer I asked her if we could fly her out to California in January so she could watch the boys for us while Sam and I went on a much needed vacation alone.

She said she wasn't sure she could take the time off of work and just wasn't sure if she would do it.

She hasn't brought it up again.  She won't address it because her answer is no, but she just won't even say no.  She just won't say anything.  Not a word because she doesn't like conflict.

She was using missing work as an excuse but on her phone call today was telling me about the mandatory 12 days they are making her take off next year.  12 days off!!  But, she claims she can't take time off work to come watch her grandkids.

Grrrr...why can't she just own up to not wanting to help us out for whatever reason?

My friend's mom has a theory that because her marriage didn't work out when her husband was away so much she has a hard time believing that our marriage could work out and is playing out her bitterness in this passive aggressive way.

I just wish she was adult enough to tell us that she can't watch the boys or even doesn't want to instead of leaving us twisting in the wind and then making us sound like the bad guys no matter what we do (if we plan on going and her caring for the boys she will say we shouldn't have assumed.  If we cancel the plans and don't go she'll accuse us of not wanting her to spend time with the boys).

I keep praying for a peace and understanding towards her and a softer heart, but it's been hard to come by.

Xanga is my only outlet because I know Sam doesn't want me to complain to him about his mom.  Sorry this is an angry post.  I have some good stuff going on that I'll post later.

How to tell we've lived in the city for way too long.

The other night Nathaniel was with the sitter while I was at church.  They were sitting down to dinner and Lauren (the sitter) was pouring milk into glasses and making conversation with Nathaniel.  She said, "Milk comes from cows!"

Nathaniel looked at her like she had lost her mind and said, "You're silly!  Milk doesn't come from cows!"

Lauren said, "Yes it does!"

Nathaniel said, "Nooooo...milk comes from girls!"

I need to get this kid to a farm pronto!  And, perhaps I should stop feeding Aaron in front of his brother.  Oh my!

Processing suicide.

 please note:  I said PROCESSING, not CONTEMPLATING!!

I called my family today to talk about a job interview I had and let them know how my whole "finding a job in the real world" process was going.  While I was talking to my mom she told me that one of  my sister's friends committed suicide the day before yesterday.

I was shocked, just as I am every time I hear about the death of a young person. 

I immediately started crying. 

I cry for my sister who has to walk down this road of grief.  A painful grief that always leaves people wondering, "Why?" and "What if...?" 

I cry for this young man's family who is left in the wake of this tragedy.

And I cry for the sake of crying and processing the end of a life that didn't have to end.

Ben was a very successful young man.  He was incredibly good looking, came from a very well-to-do family and was extremely talented when it came to music.  It seemed as if he lacked nothing.  Yet, last year (about this time) he asked my sister out--in front of her boyfriend!  My sister thought he was an idiot:  I thought she should have gone out on the date (it's high school).

I don't know what his reason was for ending his life.  I don't know if anyone will ever know the real "reason" behind it.

But, as I was looking at different things online about this short life (he was 18 years old), I found his youtube account and began looking at the videos he posted. 

They were cute videos.  Mainly of musical stuff:  His concerts, he and his friends messing around during school.  But one video caused me to gasp.  For some reason YouTube had taken the audio out of the video, but there was still some text.  It was a video about the Patriot's at the Super Bowl and the text that I saw was, "It was a foggy day....A day like any other....But not really....It was the day I decided to kill myself....so I did."

That was a year ago.  It makes me wonder.

If you think of it, please pray for this young man's family.  Please also pray for my sister and her friends, that they will be able to process this. 

Our loss, Heaven's gain.

Talbot lost another wonderful student today.  I can't believe it.  It's kind of de ja vous a bit.

When I first started at seminary there were a couple of people I connected really well with.  One was J.R. who I got along great with.  We were close (well, as close as two people who were more than twenty five years apart in age and the opposite sex could be) and when he passed away suddenly two years into the program I was shook pretty deeply.  It took me awhile to move past that shock, but I can honestly say that when I think of J.R. today I mostly smile and look forward to hanging out with him in heaven.

Today our secretary called me.  I was happy to hear from her, but then common sense caught up with me.  While Anita and I talk occasionally, she never calls me unless there is bad news.  The only other time we talked on the phone was when J.R. died.  So, when she asked me if I was friends with Richard I knew immediately that he had passed away.

Sure enough, Richard died last night.

I wasn't as close to Richard as I was to J.R.  Part of it had to do with our personalities.  He was way more intense than I was.  His studies consumed him, while I would get frustrated and fall back into bitter sarcasm mode when it came to school.  Before J.R. died, all of us would study for theology together.  But, after J.R. died I felt like Richard was trying to be J.R. to me, which wasn't cool for me.  So, I pulled away from his friendship a bit.  I didn't want people to think that Richard could take J.R.'s place (or be J.R.). 

In fact, the last real conversation I had with Richard (aside from the graduation stuff where he kept shouting that he would deliver my baby if I went into labor--yikes!) was right before graduation when he asked me if I was having twins, because I was so big.

Apparently Richard went to bed last night and never woke up.

I rejoice that he is in heaven praising Jesus, but I am sad for those left behind.

Rest in Peace, Richard.